A View From The Sycamore Tree: Despairing in Order to Trust

Monday, March 8, 2010

Despairing in Order to Trust - 2 Corinthians 1

"For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren,

of our affliction which came to us in Asia,

that we were burdened excessively,

beyond our strength,

so that we despaired even of life;

indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves

in order that we should not trust in ourselves,

but in God who raises the dead;

who delivered us from so great a peril of death,

and will deliver us,

He on whom we have set our hope.

And He will yet deliver us,

you also joining in helping us through your prayers

that thanks may be given by many persons

on our behalf for the favor bestowed upon us

through the prayers of many."

(2 Corinthians 1:8-11)

I am quite often "struck" and "pierced" by a passage of Scripture. If you peruse my blog with any frequency at all you know that is true. I use those words regularly - perhaps too regularly. Maybe I need to spend some time with Roget and find some synonyms!

These particular verses did more than "strike" and "pierce" - they cut to the quick and grabbed hold of my heart and mind like metal to a magnet!

For over 15 years I've read through 2 Corinthians 1. The declaration of God as "the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort" has been obvious. The challenge to view our sufferings as an opportunity to comfort others as we ourselves have been comforted has always been noted. However, a few weeks ago, as I read through this great chapter, something else got my attention - and it got my attention BIG TIME!

Paul - the great apostle, the bold evangelist, the mighty apologist, the prolific letter writer of so much of the New Testament, the GIANT of the faith - despaired even of life! Take it in: Paul despaired even of life! WHOA! I thought I was alone on that one - or at least only numbered amongst the slightly unstable!!

Follow his words with me. Look at them closely. Let them sink in.

In his opening comments he writes: "For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren of our affliction which came to us in Asia...." Paul wants to know that we get what he is saying about this. He doesn't want us to miss it. He doesn't want us to "be unaware" regarding this great affliction that he has faced. So, let us pay close attention and let us be WELL aware.

The apostle Paul was no stranger to suffering and he was no stranger to the intense despondancy that sometimes accompanies it. While in Asia he was "burdened EXCESSIVELY" and this excessive burden was "beyond [his] own strength." It was so much beyond his own strength that he "despaired even of life." The pillar of apostleship was ready to tank!

I don't know about you, but that actually comforts me greatly. There are times when I am ready to throw in the towel. There are times when my weakness far exceeds my strength and when my sin seems to be so much greater than my sanctification. I have been to the point of despairing of life. I have personally been far too close to the edge of bailing on life - and obviously I've not been alone in that dark place! Even this is common to man - common even to redeemed man (1 Cor 10:13). It was common to Paul!

We're not told what the specific trouble was that pulled Paul to the edge, but pulled to the edge he was. His burden was excessive. His pain was intense. His grief was almost overwhelming! Been there, done that - had no idea Paul had gone before me.

I find some solace in the fact that I'm not some weirdo mental case for landing in the slough of despond (no comments from the peanut gallery please). I find some peace in knowing that Paul is my companion in the darkness. However, more than empathetic comradary Paul gives us divinely purposeful hope. As he continues ministering to us in these verses he grants us a glimpse at what God is doing in the midst of this almost overwhelming gloom. God was teaching Paul to trust!!

Paul was brought to the end of himself that he should no longer trust in himself but in God. "Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves IN ORDER that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead." Matthew Henry writes: "God often brings his people into great straits that they may be induced to place their trust and hope in His all-sufficiency. Our extremity is God's opportunity."

Ouch! Bulls eye!! Direct Hit!! Raising the white flag of surrender!! Oh, God - You have brought me to the place of despair please bring me to the place of trust!

Far too often I am proud and self-confident and self-reliant and self-sufficient and self-stubborn. Cutting to the chase I guess you could say I'm self-stupid! I like to be in control. I like to be "safe"! I like to be strong. I like to be those things, but I'm not and God has a way of continually showing me that I'm not. I'd be wise to listen - I must have a lot of sin's wax in my ears!

As I continually seek to hold the reins of my life God continues to direct my life in courses that look and feel a lot like spooked horses running wild over rocky terrain! Have you ever tried to hold the reins of a spooked horse?! Have you ever tried to hold the reins of a horse spooked by the sovereign God of the universe? Cry uncle, fool!! You will not win!! You are not strong enough and you're bound to break your neck if you keep fighting against so strong a force!

Time and time again, the stronger I strive to be the weaker He wisely makes me. That has been the path of this past year. The all-wise and loving God has "burdened me excessively, beyond my own strength, so that I have despaired of life." Repeatedly God has humbled me to see just how weak I am IN ORDER that "I should not trust in myself, but in God who raises the dead." I think I'm slowly getting it. Glad He is patient.

Paul, in theses verses, has driven home that despair is a catalyst for trust! Are we trusting or are we fighting against the horses of omnipotence? Friends, we are not strong enough to win the fight! Only God "who raises the dead" can "deliver us from so great a peril of death." Only "the Father of our Lord Jesus", only the "Father of mercies", only "the God of all comfort" can set us free from the shackles of despair and grant us peace and rest.

He can and He will!! "And He WILL deliver us. He on whom we have set our hope. He WILL yet deliver us!"

May our Great Deliverer - Who raised Christ from the dead - do what is necessary to pry our stubborn, stupid fingers off the reins of our lives. Our strength will fail us. Our attempts will wear us out. Our own volition will lead us where Paul landed in Asia - excessively burdened beyond our strength and despairing of life. Oh Father - do what is necessary, bring what is necessary, afflict as is necessary to teach us to trust You and to make us truly live!!

In His glorious grace,

Lori

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Here We Go!

This is a blog about the goodness and grace of God, even amidst the angst of autism.

So ... how did this whole thing start?

Well, I said I'd never do this but obviously here I am. After being challenged, encouraged, goaded and double dog dared, several years ago I began to blog.

Near the end of 2008, I found myself with renewed passion for God's Word, Kingdom, and people and I was stirred, through nothing other than the simple means of grace, to a hunger and thirsting for righteousness unlike any other time in my 20+ years as a Christian.

During that period, I began typing out the things that were striking me the most in my quiet time each morning. Honestly, I started because I wanted to have a written record that I could pass along to my children one day - lettered Ebenezers reminding them of how much their Mom loves God and His Word.

While doing that I found myself so excited on certain days that I began to email my musings to some of my girl friends, hoping to encourage them even as Christ was encouraging me. Many of those gals challenged me to put these things online in a blog form so others could have access to them. That's how this site started.

Now, to shoot really straight with you, that personal "revival" of mine has pendumatically ebbed and flowed over the course of the days, months and years since 2008. For a prolonged period after that initial renewing surge I actually found myself in an utterly antithetical place. God, in His wisdom, was pleased to grant me a substantial season in the dark dungeon of "doubting castle" - those days were some of the hardest of my life post-Jesus but were providentially ordained days ultimately used for my good and for my God's glory.

"Through many dangers, toils, and snares I have already come" by nothing but the amazing grace of an amazing God.

I've learned that even in the midst of the darkest of days there's just something about the light of God's Word that is powerful. The Scripture has been an anchor for me in the storm surge of life. Even when my eyes have seemed to be rather veiled and my vision somewhat dimmed, there has still been a re-focusing force that has risen when I have gazed long and hard upon the Word of God. Thus, even as a saint who struggles, I continue to write of my God, my Redeemer, His promises, and His truth.

I'm not always very regular at posting here because there are many more important duties in my life right now than blog uploads - ie. being wife, mom, housekeeper, cook, taxi service, chief bottle washer, and laundry lady - along with that music thing I do as a side gig! But, as time allows I'll be cutting and pasting from Joshua and Elizabeth's future journal gift and sharing some of it with you as well.

Thanks for stopping by!

Who's Doing This?

Lori Sealy is daily amazed at the grace of God in her life. Adopted as an infant and raised in an evangelical church, she rebelled against the things of Christ during high school and considered herself an atheist. Upon entering college, the God who ordains our steps ordained that her path would cross with several students who loved Christ and loved His Word. During that first year of college, she set out to destroy the faith of these young Christians. They set out to pray for her salvation.

Knowing that "faith comes through hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ," six college students daily confronted her sin and challenged her with the truths of God's glorious Word. Their obedience in proclaiming the good news of the gospel of Christ bore fruit in August of 1988 when by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, she was adopted for the second time in her life - this time into the family of God.

Lori is now the wife of Phillip Sealy. They live in Sylva, North Carolina where Phillip has been called to plant a new church for the Presbyterian Church of America (PCA) - Redeemer Church Sylva. The Sealys have two children Joshua (14) and Elizabeth (12). Lori and Joshua both live with autism.

In her spare time (what little there is) Lori masquerades as a part-time songwriter/singer and performs on a limited monthly basis. Lori's newest CD, "The Strife is Over," has recently released. Hard copies of it, along with her last release "Begone Unbelief", are available through CD Baby and Lori's own website. Digital downloads are available through iTunes, Google Play, and Amazon mp3!

Be sure to visit http://www.lorisealy.com/ to learn more!

Why the Sycamore Tree?

Zaccheus, the wee little man, wanted to see Jesus and so he climbed into the sycamore tree in order to get a good look. Lori, the wee little wife and mom, longs to see Jesus as well. I realize that the place where I will catch a true glimpse of Him is in the pages of His Word.

The Bible is my sycamore tree and I find myself longing more and more to climb up into its branches that I might see Christ more clearly. This blog is simply a record of what God is teaching me as I spend time in "the tree" of His glorious Word. If anyone reads it I'll be amazed; if anyone profits from it I'll be humbled; and if anything good is found in it Soli Deo Gloria!