Hardness of Heart and the Ruin of Relationships

Modern divorce rates are high. The last official statistic I found from the CDC was that somewhere around 50% of marriages now end in divorce. In the arena of special needs, where my own family exists, the rates are even higher - hovering around the 80% mark (often due to the weight of physical and emotional burden that husband and wife carry). These are heartbreaking figures, and they result in heartbroken lives. 

Sure, living under the same roof can be rough and marriage can be hard, but then again, since the fall, what relationship isn't? 

Parents and progeny fuss and fight. 

Friends become foes. 

Churches split.  

Relationships rupture.

Many marriages are a mess.

This morning, my quiet time took me to Matthew 19 and a section on divorce.  In the text, a group of Pharisees have come up to try and trick Jesus – as was their custom.  They toss out a question about whether divorce is or isn’t lawful (and lawful “for any cause at all”) and then misquote Moses hoping to trip and trap my Lord.

As is always the case, they fail in their folly.  How do you ever outsmart omniscience?  Jesus does a beautiful job of correcting their twisted teaching by driving them all the way back to the institution of marriage  - marriage before sin made a mess of it.  He looks at the original portrait of the Master rather than the marred imitation of the impostor. 

There’s much I could write on this, but today’s post is actually not one on marriage per se, or about divorce in particular – though it clearly has a ripple effect on both.

This is a post about hard hearts.  My hard heart, your hard heart, the ravaging effect of hard hearts, and ultimately about the One who changes hard hearts.

A Parable of Pardon

"Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea...                                             

...until they have to forgive someone!”  

Those words of C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity, hit me hard as I read them.  

Selfishly, I want to be forgiven. 
Sadly, I don’t always want to forgive. 

More often than I wish to admit, I’m pretty pitiful at pardoning and fairly fickle with forgiving.  While Peter asked Jesus just how much he had to forgive a sinning brother, I seem to be often guilty of wondering just how little must I?

Forgiving can be a hard thing, but as we grow weary let us remember that forgiving is a gospel thing.

According to the Bible we are called to forgive fully and freely because in Christ we've been forgiven fully and freely.  Driving that idea home, Lewis wrote in another book (The Weight of Glory) that “to be a Christian is to be willing to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

I’m not sure that this picture is portrayed in any more piercing fashion than it is in the story of “The Unmerciful Servant.”  This is a parable of pardon and it is one that convicts me to the core.

Just How Much??

Over the course of my life many of its circumstances have forced me to really wrestle through the concept of forgiveness. 

Friends have failed. Family has bailed.  How am I to respond?   

I’ve been wronged - should I forgive?

I’ve been abandoned - can I forgive? 

I’ve been betrayed - will I forgive?

I’ve been abused – must I forgive?

Forgiveness can be a tough teaching because, if I'm really honest, forgiveness goes against the grain of my nature.  

When you push me, my natural response is to push back.  
When you talk about me, my innate reaction is to talk about you.  
When you walk away from me my first reflex is not to walk towards you... 
     ...well, at least it’s not to walk towards you with Christ like love.  Sadly, if truth be told it may be to walk towards you with balled up fist much more than with outstretched arm!  

I often don't feel like forgiving.

Yet, in spite of my feelings, God’s Word tells me to forgive.  Over and over and over it tells me to forgive!

 

In response I ask, “Well, how much, God?  JUST HOW MUCH do I have to forgive THAT person who did THOSE things to me??” 

Or if more honestly stated, perhaps the real question is “just how little forgiveness can I get away with?”

Perfected in Our Imperfections / Acquitted of our Condemnation- Galatians 2:11-13

"But when Peter came to Antioch,

I opposed him to his face,

because he stood condemned.

For prior to the coming of certain men from James,

he used to eat with the Gentiles;

but when they came, he began to withdraw

and hold himself aloof,

fearing the party of the circumcision.

And the rest of the Jews joined him in hypocrisy,

with the result that even Barnabas

was carried away by their hypocrisy."

                                                   (Galatians 2:11-13)

True confession time! In reading over these verses, which were next on my list, I found myself initially saying: "Oh well - nuttin' today!" Some days that is how it seems.

The Word looks empty and impractical.
It appears more historical than devotional.
You know, I came close to simply skimming over this section and going on with the duties of the day, checking my Bible reading off of my "to do" list.


I am learning that my Bible reading is no "to do" it is a "to digest". I thought there was 'nuttin' and once again I am proved wrong. I am amazed yet I not surprised at what has pierced my heart this morning from this "impractically historical "section. Truly, this is the living Word of the living God and surely every jot and tittle of it is inspired and is profitable for our teaching, reproof, correction, training and full equipping for every good work.


Here's the condensed scoop that has so radically grabbed my attention this morning:

There are no perfect people... there is One perfect Propitiator!