Hardness of Heart and the Ruin of Relationships

Modern divorce rates are high. The last official statistic I found from the CDC was that somewhere around 50% of marriages now end in divorce. In the arena of special needs, where my own family exists, the rates are even higher - hovering around the 80% mark (often due to the weight of physical and emotional burden that husband and wife carry). These are heartbreaking figures, and they result in heartbroken lives. 

Sure, living under the same roof can be rough and marriage can be hard, but then again, since the fall, what relationship isn't? 

Parents and progeny fuss and fight. 

Friends become foes. 

Churches split.  

Relationships rupture.

Many marriages are a mess.

This morning, my quiet time took me to Matthew 19 and a section on divorce.  In the text, a group of Pharisees have come up to try and trick Jesus – as was their custom.  They toss out a question about whether divorce is or isn’t lawful (and lawful “for any cause at all”) and then misquote Moses hoping to trip and trap my Lord.

As is always the case, they fail in their folly.  How do you ever outsmart omniscience?  Jesus does a beautiful job of correcting their twisted teaching by driving them all the way back to the institution of marriage  - marriage before sin made a mess of it.  He looks at the original portrait of the Master rather than the marred imitation of the impostor. 

There’s much I could write on this, but today’s post is actually not one on marriage per se, or about divorce in particular – though it clearly has a ripple effect on both.

This is a post about hard hearts.  My hard heart, your hard heart, the ravaging effect of hard hearts, and ultimately about the One who changes hard hearts.

I Cursed Christ - Galatians 3:13

"Christ redeemed us 
from the curse of the Law,

having become a curse 
for us -for it is written,

'Cursed is everyone 
who hangs on a tree.'"

(Galatians 3:13)

Sometimes I tend to just "poo poo" my sins away - thinking of them simply as slight slip ups, minimal mistakes, and average accidents. "Oh, this is really no big deal. What's it really matter? What'll it really cost?"


If, like me, you've ever thought that sin is just really "no big deal" then let this note help us think again.


You know, my sin and your sin cost Christ His life. Jesus came and "gave Himself for our sins." He "delivered Himself up for me." That folks is a big deal- a BIG big deal. Our sins killed Christ!


OK -'nuff said? 
Nope!  Not nearly enough!

Faith Alone - Galatians 2:16

"Nevertheless knowing that a man

is not justified by the works of the Law

but through faith in Christ Jesus,

even we have believed in Christ Jesus,

that we may be justified by faith in Christ,

and not by the works of the Law;

since by the works of the Law

shall no flesh be justified."

(Galatians 2:16)

Paul wants to make it clear. There is NO working our way to heaven or to holiness. Clearly and emphatically he tells us that a man is NOT justified by the works of the law.


This is the cardinal and foundational starting point for being a Christian. It is imperative that we begin with an understanding that we can't "DO" a single thing to get in good with God. We are sinners - all of us. We have fallen short of the glory of God and there is no ladder long enough, no bridge broad enough, nor any work wide enough to get us to Him.


We are sinners and what we naturally do - all the time - left to ourselves - is sin!! We are by nature bad trees bearing bad fruit (Matthew 7:17) and no matter how hard we may try to produce good fruit it just won't happen. It cannot happen! Our most righteous deeds are but filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) and our wicked hearts are continually producing wicked things (Mark 7:21-23). 

Bottom line - apart from Christ - we are only and always sinning.


As a matter of fact, the more we work for our salvation the more we, in reality, are simply storing up wrath and judgment for ourselves for the wages of all the labors of our hands is death (Romans 6:23). Since "whatever is not from faith is sin" it is easily deduced that "those who seek to earn the grace of God by their own efforts are trying to please God with their sins" (Luther). Friends, that is foolish.